by Gabriel Riesco | Mar 22, 2023 | Dog Training, For Dog Trainers, Mindfulness & Psychology with Dogs
Respect is commonly miss-understood with showing who is boss. It has nothing to do with this. Fear is not respect. You don´t ask, demand or gain respect. Respect is not something you necessarily achieve. Respect is something that you give and you get back in return. You can not force or convince someone to respect you. You have no direct control over this. It has to come from them. If you are respectful to people, people will be respectful to you. The same is with dogs. Understand that when dogs get out of control they are not mis respecting you. They are simply out of control and our job is to help them.
The better question is, how do I give respect to my dog?
The answer is simple: acknowledge and treat your dog as a dog.
Let me explain. If I treat you as a dog, you´ll agree with me that I´m miss-respecting you. Well, if you treat your dog as a human you’re mis-respecting your dog. Your dog is not a human, your dog is a dog. Dog’s are beautiful creatures and they deserve to be respected for who they are.
I could write an entire book about how to acknowledge dogs as dogs, but to keep things simple here are 6 skills for you to be aware of how to give respect and get respect back from your dog:
1- Instead of talking to your dog, listen to your dog. 95% of dog´s communication is through body language and energy. Meaning in silence. Yet 90% of my clients do not know how to communicate with their dogs in silence. Dog´s don’t understand English or Spanish or Chinese. They understand body language. Be curious and learn It!!
2- Understand your relationship with your dog. Who is the parent? Who is the guardian? If your dog doesn’t feel your are making the calls don’t expect him or her to listen to you. Humans and and animals don’t listen to people who stay in the sidelines. They listen to people who take responsabilties and to people that make decisions. Respect the relationship and accept your responsabilities. Being a parent or a guardian comes with teaching boundaries and educating your dog. It’s work! It can be a lot of fun, but you have to know where your place is. Being a parent or a guardian is a privilege and your choice, not your right or entitlement.
3- Be aware of your state of mind and work on self control. If you are not in control of yourself don’t expect your dog to listen to you in a willing or cooperative way. What I mean by this is to be in control of your body language and your state of mind. This is a skill that you might need to relearn.
4- Be aware of your your dog´s sate of mind. Meet your dog where she/he is at and work from there. You have to be sensitive and react accordingly to your dogs state of mind instead of trying to impose your dog training program. Dogs are not computers or machines that simply obey to commands.
5- Clarity. Teach your dog with clarity. Be clear with what your dog can do and with what your dog can’t do. Always do so for your dog’s best interest.
6- Be present. Dog´s can’t live in the past or in the future. They can only live in the present. So don’t allow your mind to take over and navigate around time. Be present!!
All these skills and tips are ways to give respect to your dog and a sure way to get respect back in return.
© Gabriel Riesco, Pawmos Dog Training LLC | All Rights Reserved March 2023
by Gabriel Riesco | Mar 20, 2023 | Dog Body Language, Fun Doggy Wisdom, Mindfulness & Psychology with Dogs
As pet parents, we often anthropomorphize our furry friends and assume they experience emotions similar to our own. One of the common emotions we attribute to dogs is anger. Have you ever wondered if your dog is mad at you? Well, the answer is not that simple.
Dogs do not experience emotions in the same way that humans do. While they can certainly show signs of discomfort, fear, or happiness, anger is not an emotion that dogs experience in the same sense that humans do. However, dogs do have their own ways of communicating discomfort, annoyance, or frustration.
So, how can you tell if your dog is upset?
Here are some signs to look out for:
- Body language: A dog’s body language can tell you a lot about their emotional state. If your dog is upset, they may avoid eye contact, have a stiff body posture, or growl.
- Barking: Barking can be a sign of annoyance, frustration, or anger in dogs. If your dog is barking excessively, it could be a sign that they are upset.
- Refusing commands: If your dog has been trained to follow commands and suddenly stops following them, it could be a sign that they are upset, frustrated or overstimulated.
- Avoidance: If your dog starts avoiding you, it could be a sign that they are upset. They may stop coming to you for attention or treats or may hide from you.
It’s important to remember that dogs do not hold grudges or have long-term memories of negative experiences in the same way that humans do. Never take it personally!
There can be certain triggers that can activate an emotional response that sets them up into a “red zone”. Sometimes this trigger could be a human for a variety of different reasons even if that human never did anything bad to that dog. So, if your dog is acting out, it’s likely due to a recent event, a change in their environment or a trigger that sets him/her off.
In conclusion, while dogs may not experience anger in the same way that humans do, they can still show signs of discomfort, annoyance, or frustration. As pet parents, it’s important to pay attention to our dogs’ body language and behavior to better understand their emotional state. If you think your dog is mad at you, try to identify the cause of their discomfort and make changes to improve their overall wellbeing.
© Gabriel Riesco, Pawmos Dog Training LLC | All Rights Reserved March 2023
by Gabriel Riesco | Mar 16, 2023 | Dog Problems. Behavior Modification, Dog Training, Dog Training & Conditioning, For Dog Trainers, Mindfulness & Psychology with Dogs, Puppy Training
Should I ever say No to my dog?
There’s an advice very often given to never say No to your dog under the mantra : “Never tell your dog don’t do that, instead teach them what to do”
The problem with this is that your dog never has a clear understanding of what not to do. And that’s not fair.
Another problem is that in order to stop your dog from doing unwanted behaviors, you have to micromanage by constantly reinforcing alternative behaviors in a helicopter parenting style.
Let me give you an example: If I go to a bank and you teach me 5 different things to do in a bank, but you never tell me that I should not rob it. Well, you can probably keep teaching me 10 other alternate behaviors and skills, but I still don’t really know that I shouldn’t rob a bank. Why wouldn’t you tell me that in first place instead of trying to micromanage every move I do with alternative behaviors?
Teaching boundaries is the art of teaching your dog not to do things or doing things in a controlled manner out of independent thinking not out of micromanagement.
Can I teach boundaries without punishing or harsh corrections?
You can teach boundaries and say no to your dog in a kind way without hurting your dog or without getting mad at your dog, but the focus should be on providing clarity on the boundary not on the alternative behaviors.
Teaching boundaries does not mean punishing your dog for doing the wrong things. I don’t use or advocate for those methods. There are ways through cognitive learning and by using basic body language techniques through which you can communícate boundaries to your dog effectively and in a kind manner.
We need to have a clear understanding that boundaries are not part of learning methodologies based on Reinforcement. Boundaries are part of social behavior skills based on self control and a clear understanding of what is and what is not acceptable.
What are learnt boundaries?
A learnt boundary is you going to a bank and not robbing it; or you going to a store and not stealing; or you waiting in a line and not pushing everyone around to get in first.
You don’t get rewarded for not doing those things and you should not need to be offered an alternative behavior. You should have a clear understanding to not to do those things. You should also have the self control skills for not doing them.
Here’s an example with my dog: A boundary is when I put my food on my coffee table and I teach my dog not to eat it even if he is laying down right next to me.
My dog has a clear understanding of what not to do and he’s perfectly fine with it. He is not stressed because there is no confusion. Not only I’m very clear with boundaries, but I also taught my dog the self control skills needed to let things go.
A boundary is not telling my dog to go to his place and stay there because I reinforced that behavior one million times. That’s obedience training. These are two very different concepts. Obedience training is about teaching new behaviors not about teaching behavioral skills.
Why are boundaries so important?
The lack of behavioral training is a huge problem because there is no clarity, there is no self control skills and involves helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting kills independent thinking and autonomy on your dog. It’s also exhausting and very time consuming on the humans.
Self control is very different than impulse control.
When you impose obedience training and helicopter parenting over behavior training with the mantra: “Never tell your dog don’t do that, instead teach them what to do” think what you are really doing.
You are basically going through a byzantine labyrinth of alternate behaviors in order to stop your dog from doing unwanted behaviors. This is based on impulse control not on self control. Impulse control is micromanaged . Self control is autonomous thinking.
Let’s be clear that when you condition your dog to do an alternative behavior with 1 million repetitions, you’re not giving him/her a “choice”, which is the magic word used to convince people of these methods. There is no choice here. Is either you do what i want or I’m gonna repeat this 1 million times and manipulate the environment until you do so. Then I’m going to convince my self that it was your choice.
It’s perfectly fine to use this method if your purpose is to teach your dog new skills, tricks or behaviors. I use it all the time and positive reinforcement is the best way to go. The focus here is on learning and reinforcing new behaviors.
But this method and this mantra is a very inefficient way to teach boundaries. This is because your dog never learns what he or she is not supposed to do. Boundaries and rules are very necessary and needed information in order to adapt to any environment. They are also the best way to have independent thinking and autonomy without having to be micromanaged.
© Gabriel Riesco, Pawmos Dog Training LLC | All Rights Reserved March 2023
by Gabriel Riesco | Mar 14, 2023 | Dog Problems. Behavior Modification, For Dog Trainers, Mindfulness & Psychology with Dogs
Dominance and aggression are two concepts that are often associated with each other, but their relationship is more complex than many people realize. While dominance can sometimes lead to aggressive behavior, it is not always the case, and there are many factors that can influence how these two concepts are related.
What’s dominance?
First, it’s important to understand what we mean by dominance. In animal behavior, dominance refers to a hierarchical relationship in which one individual (the dominant) has priority access to resources such as food, water, or mates. Dominance is often established through displays of aggression or other assertive behaviors, such as standing tall, baring teeth, or making loud vocalizations.
What’s aggression?
Aggression, on the other hand, is a behavior that is aimed at causing harm or intimidation to another individual. A lot of aggressive behaviors are the outcome of fear where the dog goes into fight/flight mode. It can range from simple displays of warning or threat, such as growling or snarling, to more serious forms of physical violence such as biting or attacking.
What’s the relationship between dominance and aggression?
While dominance and aggression are often associated with each other, it’s important to recognize that the relationship between the two is not always straightforward. In some cases, dominant individuals may use aggression as a means of establishing and maintaining their dominance. For example, a dominant individual may use physical force to prevent others from accessing resources, or to punish subordinates who disobey them.
However, it’s also important to recognize that aggression in many occasions is not a product of dominance. Some individuals may be naturally more aggressive than others, regardless of their position in the social hierarchy. Additionally, there are many situations in which aggression may be provoked by factors other than dominance, such as fear, frustration, anxiety or specific triggers.
Conclusion
To sum up, dominance and aggression have a complex relationship. Dominance can sometimes lead to aggressive behavior, but aggression can also be provoked by a variety of factors unrelated to dominance. Understanding the relationship between these two concepts requires a nuanced understanding of the social and ecological
by Gabriel Riesco | Mar 9, 2023 | Dog Body Language, Dog Problems. Behavior Modification, Mindfulness & Psychology with Dogs
Dogs are our loyal companions, and getting their trust is essential for developing a strong and healthy bond with them. Building trust with your dog is a process that requires kindness, clarity, confidence and competence.
Love is all you need?
There is a misconception that you’ll get trust from your dog by just being kind, loving and compassionate. This is not true. Animals, including humans, do not think like that.
Being kind, loving and compassionate is where you should come from. At least that’s my philosophy. Any animal lover comes from kindness and from compassion. But that’s not entirely what you trust, that’s just the starting point. Although it’s a must, it doesn’t stop there and it’s not enough.
When you trust someone is because he or she knows what they are doing, not just because they are kind or compassionate. Dogs and animals in general are the same way.
Let me give you an example. If you are in an airplane would you trust a kind and compassionate pilot that doesn’t know how to drive? Of course not. Would you trust a pilot that is insecure, incompetent or not qualified to drive? You wouldn’t, even if he or she was a very nice person.
When you really think about it what you trust is competence and confidence on top of kindness. The reason why I emphasize this is because most dog problems that I deal with don’t come from the lack of compassion or kindness. The problem is usually the lack of clarity, confidence and knowledge. Without clarity, confidence and knowledge, competence becomes an impossible task.
What’s the missing piece?
If you are a kind and a compassionate person the main way to gain trust with your pup is with guidance and leadership. By leadership I don’t mean being the Alpha or using dominance. I mean taking the responsability to guide and being accountable for it. Like parents do. YOU are responsible of your dog’s behavior and education. The difference between leadership and dominance is that the first one comes from acceptance and the latter one comes from imposition, force or fear.
Your dog won’t trust you if you don’t give guidance and lead with kindness, clarity, confidence and competence. The same way you wouldn’t trust someone that doesn’t have those virtues.
Here are some game changers to build trust with your dog:
1. Communicate Effectively:
Dogs communicate through body language, so it’s essential to learn to read your dog’s body language and respond appropriately with your own body language. This will help you to understand your dog’s needs and feelings better, and it will help your dog understand you better. This will make your dog feel understood and valued and will take your trust to higher level.
2. Be Patient:
Building trust with your dog sometimes can take time. Be patient with your dog and allow them to adjust to their new environment at their own pace.
3. Develop good timing skills.
Good timing means to read the rhythm of your dog’s learning and adjusting process. Allowing your dog/s to learn and grow at their own pace doesn’t neccessarily mean slow. Finding the rhythm and the learning pace of your dog it’s an art form and can safe you a lot if time and frustrations. Is like syncing with your dog.
4. Respect their uniqueness:
Every dog is different and it’s essential to respect this. If your dog seems uncomfortable or scared in certain situations, don’t force them to do something they don’t want to do. Instead, work with your dog and help them overcome their fears at their own pace. Helping a dog overcoming fears takes trust to a whole different level.
5. Be Consistent:
Consistency is crucial when building trust with your dog. Guiding in a consistent way will make your dog feel safe, secure, and comfortable in their environment, and it will help them to trust you more.
6. Set up clear boundaries:
Dogs feel safe when they have a clear understanding of what’s permitted and what’s not. When you don’t know the rules you can’t play the game. You don’t need a lot of rules, but the rules need to be clear. When rules are not clear, dogs become anxious, restless and aggressive. Providing structure and clarity will make your dog really trust you.
In conclusion, building trust with your dog is a process that requires kindness, clarity, confidence and competence. Building a strong and healthy bond with your furry friend will last a lifetime.
© Gabriel Riesco, Pawmos Dog Training LLC | All Rights Reserved March 2023
