Respect is commonly miss-understood with showing who is boss. It has nothing to do with this. Fear is not respect. You don´t ask, demand or gain respect. Respect is not something you necessarily achieve. Respect is something that you give and you get back in return. You can not force or convince someone to respect you. You have no direct control over this. It has to come from them. If you are respectful to people, people will be respectful to you. The same is with dogs. Understand that when dogs get out of control they are not mis respecting you. They are simply out of control and our job is to help them.
The better question is, how do I give respect to my dog?
The answer is simple: acknowledge and treat your dog as a dog.
Let me explain. If I treat you as a dog, you´ll agree with me that I´m miss-respecting you. Well, if you treat your dog as a human you’re mis-respecting your dog. Your dog is not a human, your dog is a dog. Dog’s are beautiful creatures and they deserve to be respected for who they are.
I could write an entire book about how to acknowledge dogs as dogs, but to keep things simple here are 6 skills for you to be aware of how to give respect and get respect back from your dog:
1- Instead of talking to your dog, listen to your dog. 95% of dog´s communication is through body language and energy. Meaning in silence. Yet 90% of my clients do not know how to communicate with their dogs in silence. Dog´s don’t understand English or Spanish or Chinese. They understand body language. Be curious and learn It!!
2- Understand your relationship with your dog. Who is the parent? Who is the guardian? If your dog doesn’t feel your are making the calls don’t expect him or her to listen to you. Humans and and animals don’t listen to people who stay in the sidelines. They listen to people who take responsabilties and to people that make decisions. Respect the relationship and accept your responsabilities. Being a parent or a guardian comes with teaching boundaries and educating your dog. It’s work! It can be a lot of fun, but you have to know where your place is. Being a parent or a guardian is a privilege and your choice, not your right or entitlement.
3- Be aware of your state of mind and work on self control. If you are not in control of yourself don’t expect your dog to listen to you in a willing or cooperative way. What I mean by this is to be in control of your body language and your state of mind. This is a skill that you might need to relearn.
4- Be aware of your your dog´s sate of mind. Meet your dog where she/he is at and work from there. You have to be sensitive and react accordingly to your dogs state of mind instead of trying to impose your dog training program. Dogs are not computers or machines that simply obey to commands.
5- Clarity. Teach your dog with clarity. Be clear with what your dog can do and with what your dog can’t do. Always do so for your dog’s best interest.
6- Be present. Dog´s can’t live in the past or in the future. They can only live in the present. So don’t allow your mind to take over and navigate around time. Be present!!
All these skills and tips are ways to give respect to your dog and a sure way to get respect back in return.
© Gabriel Riesco, Pawmos Dog Training LLC | All Rights Reserved March 2023